thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
