is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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