Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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