I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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