Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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