So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just cropdusted the office
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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