Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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