sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
