I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
