His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Congratulations! We have a period
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