He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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