all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
