it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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