Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
