And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
