What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
