She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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