o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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