after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
