please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
