That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
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We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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