My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
