HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
