it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
