we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
