Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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