she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
