He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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