Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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