Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
