we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
