I wish I only lived at night.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize