the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
