I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
