I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sorry about my life...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
