lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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