You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
