Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
