Are we in a gay sports bar?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
