just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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