cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
