Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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