so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
