just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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