erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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