no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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