the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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