Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
