Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
