When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize