but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
