evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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