What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
