I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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