The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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