At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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