i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
