I love black thongs
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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