why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
