Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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