I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
