Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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